When Helping Hurts
I put Nomso on his floor blanket today. As a motivation to move, toys dangled from his tummy-time mat that I placed strategically at a distance in front of him.
Let the crawling begin!
Well, that didn't happen. Lol. I sat on the couch egging him on, impressed at how much he could lift his head up while laying on his stomach...his eyes locked on mine...his head swaying slightly as he tried to maintain both his focus on me and his balance on the floor.
I urged him the more with a combo of exclamations of "you can do it" and excerpts from his favorite song:"a chu-chu" (composed by yours truly). He smiled.
...I love to see him smile, especially when I'm the cause of his happiness. He is truly a bundle of joy...
Where was I...oh yes! In his attempt to keep his eyes on me as I stood up and walked around the couch, he lost his balance and went from a push up position to that of laying on his left side. He looked back and forth between me and the blanket he was resting on, quietly grunting periodically. He tried to re-position himself back on both arms. I was VERY tempted to help him. I knew that he was trying his best and was doing so JUST TO SEE ME...but something told me not to touch him...just let him do it himself. Reluctantly, I stayed put, watching from a distance. I was close enough for him to hear my voice and for him to see me, if he lifted his head up.
HE DID IT! After several minutes of grunting and wobbling, he got back to a push-up position! He could now clearly see where I was standing!! I chanted "a chu-chu" all the more!!! lol He managed to smile and still keep his balance. It was a great moment for us both. One proud mommy and one happy baby.
I learned a very important lesson in that instance. You can actually hurt someone more by helping them, than by leaving them to do it themselves. Allowing Nomso to regain his balance on his own strengthened him in 3 significant ways:
-Intellectually = figuring out how to adjust his arm in order to regain his balance;
-Physically = using the muscles in his side, back, neck and arms to achieve this task;
-Emotionally = pushing through the temporary discomfort of being on his side and the sadness of not having mommy right there to help him.
After a minute back up, he fell on his side, again... but now he was able to regain his balance and could do it in less time than before. I was impressed!...but he fell again. This time, I decided to move. I walked towards him. He was still on his side, but he could see me facing him and hear me as well. I moved from facing him to standing over him. Soon after, I moved behind. He followed me with his eyes until I was no longer visible. I KNEW he wanted to see my face. That desire, coupled with the encouragement from my voice calling from somewhere out of sight motivated him to look for me. I could see the determination brewing within him. Once he discovered that he could no longer see me from where he lay, he knew he had to do something. He wanted to see my face so HE HAD TO MOVE. Hearing my voice wasn't enough. His body in subjection, began to wobble as he kicked trying to figure out how to move. Eventually, he mustered up enough force and he ROLLED OVER!!! I think he was more shocked than I. The look on his face was priceless, as one arm remained up superman-style with a hold that only gymnasts usually use to stick their landing lol HURRAY!!! PERFECT SCORE.
What a day. What a lesson. Whether you’re new to parenthood, or not, understanding how to effectively help our kids (or any one, for that matter) is never an easy thing, but it’s important. I hope you find the right formula and see great results because of it.
Let the crawling begin!
Well, that didn't happen. Lol. I sat on the couch egging him on, impressed at how much he could lift his head up while laying on his stomach...his eyes locked on mine...his head swaying slightly as he tried to maintain both his focus on me and his balance on the floor.
I urged him the more with a combo of exclamations of "you can do it" and excerpts from his favorite song:"a chu-chu" (composed by yours truly). He smiled.
...I love to see him smile, especially when I'm the cause of his happiness. He is truly a bundle of joy...
Where was I...oh yes! In his attempt to keep his eyes on me as I stood up and walked around the couch, he lost his balance and went from a push up position to that of laying on his left side. He looked back and forth between me and the blanket he was resting on, quietly grunting periodically. He tried to re-position himself back on both arms. I was VERY tempted to help him. I knew that he was trying his best and was doing so JUST TO SEE ME...but something told me not to touch him...just let him do it himself. Reluctantly, I stayed put, watching from a distance. I was close enough for him to hear my voice and for him to see me, if he lifted his head up.
HE DID IT! After several minutes of grunting and wobbling, he got back to a push-up position! He could now clearly see where I was standing!! I chanted "a chu-chu" all the more!!! lol He managed to smile and still keep his balance. It was a great moment for us both. One proud mommy and one happy baby.
I learned a very important lesson in that instance. You can actually hurt someone more by helping them, than by leaving them to do it themselves. Allowing Nomso to regain his balance on his own strengthened him in 3 significant ways:
-Intellectually = figuring out how to adjust his arm in order to regain his balance;
-Physically = using the muscles in his side, back, neck and arms to achieve this task;
-Emotionally = pushing through the temporary discomfort of being on his side and the sadness of not having mommy right there to help him.
After a minute back up, he fell on his side, again... but now he was able to regain his balance and could do it in less time than before. I was impressed!...but he fell again. This time, I decided to move. I walked towards him. He was still on his side, but he could see me facing him and hear me as well. I moved from facing him to standing over him. Soon after, I moved behind. He followed me with his eyes until I was no longer visible. I KNEW he wanted to see my face. That desire, coupled with the encouragement from my voice calling from somewhere out of sight motivated him to look for me. I could see the determination brewing within him. Once he discovered that he could no longer see me from where he lay, he knew he had to do something. He wanted to see my face so HE HAD TO MOVE. Hearing my voice wasn't enough. His body in subjection, began to wobble as he kicked trying to figure out how to move. Eventually, he mustered up enough force and he ROLLED OVER!!! I think he was more shocked than I. The look on his face was priceless, as one arm remained up superman-style with a hold that only gymnasts usually use to stick their landing lol HURRAY!!! PERFECT SCORE.
What a day. What a lesson. Whether you’re new to parenthood, or not, understanding how to effectively help our kids (or any one, for that matter) is never an easy thing, but it’s important. I hope you find the right formula and see great results because of it.
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